Wherever I go on social media, I meet other women. I’m not complaining, I’m not out to meet men (I’m in a very happy marriage, thank you very much), but really, do all groups on the internet have to be heavy on women?
I interact with more women than men on Twitter, on Facebook, on my blogs, on Linkedin, on Goodreads, Google+, on Triberr.
(The same in real-life groups I visit—most participants at writers’ workshops and symposiums are women, a lot of women in writers’ critique groups or writing groups. Why do you think that is? Is it because women talk more? Ahem, Do women talk more than men? I do, don’t I, at least my husband seems to think so lol. Are there more women-writers than men-writers? Do women like more work-shopping and critiques? )
I’m a woman myself, and I’ll be lying if I said I hate All the girly support group thingie— the long-winded I-hear-you, you’re awesomesauce, don’t worry about (current enemy of choice), we’re-all-there-for-you kind of group-love shit. All the women I’ve ended up collaborating with on projects (and will continue to work with) are worth their weight in gold.
But once in a while, I long for silent, pat-on-the shoulder kind of support. Or maybe, ‘Yeah, I get you, peace’ sort of comments, or maybe a joke or two—something I mostly see from men.
Is it the latent tomboy in me that misses men on the internet and in writing groups, because, as a child, all my friends were boys, and I ran and fought and kicked with the best of them?
I consider myself very happy to be woman, but as a writer, I often find myself talking in the male voice. I wonder whether that has something to do with the fact that I often find a lot of women (and women-writers) needlessly vocal, over-friendly, or ‘over-supportive’…even noisy? I’m terrified it is all rubbing off on me, and I’m becoming one of those loud, annoying types in my social media interactions.
I hope not.
Men writers on the internet and in real life seem a lot more restrained lot, and maybe the writer side of me finds this aspect of social communication reassuring: less noise, more space to space out and dream.
Or has growing up in a patriarchal setting affected me in some kind of inverse way I don’t understand?
If you’re a woman and a writer, do you find other women-writers annoying, cloying, even false at least some of the time?
If you’re a man, and a writer, what’s your take on men and women writers on social media and the different ways they interact?