For as long as I have had my aquarium….(A glass box with an open top, a little taller than my knees, longer than my arm, and as wide as my elbow to my wrist. A small community affair with a few small fish, lots of plants, some stones and a lone driftwood, lots of moss and grass. )….my dreams have consisted of fish swimming around in varied waters.
In my dream(s), the fish keep trying to escape and I desperately try to put them back in. Sometimes they go flippity- flop on a tiled floor, sometimes they just escape and swim around in air, bright flecks of multicolored light, guppies and angels and goldfish and tetras, and I try to convince them it is better for them to swim in water, air is no place for fish. At others, there’s a flood from somewhere and big fish swim into small aquariums, and I’m scrambling to find bigger aquariums to put them in….or my fish find ways to swim out and escape into a stream, bright, happy, remote, untouchable.
Last night I dreamt of fish again…only this time they were dying fish…fish all around me, just melting, their skin soft, no scales, breaking into tiny pink-white- salmon fillets, and I tried to put them back together.
I have talked about lucid dreaming, and this was one of those…I was so convinced these were my fish dying and melting as I watched. Another part of me was awake, was telling me this was just a movie, that all of it was make-believe, that neither these fish nor I was real.
And then I made myself wake up, and totter to the aquarium to take a look at all my tiny fish, frozen little shadows, deep in blessed slumber.
Indigo left a comment mentioning she did not know I had an aquarium. And maybe I did not want to blog about it because of the strange, repeated dreams I have each night, dreams that probably say something to me. Or may be stuff about me. I dunno.
All I know is that the new ferny floaty plants I got last week make my aquarium look like a tiny patch of fairyland, that my two tiny blue male dwarf gouramis have called ceasefire over disputed territories and seem to be getting along at last, my golden tetras have stopped dying, the last four seem to be eating well. My rummy nose tetras have bright and lively red mouths, and my pretty blue-red cardinals are playful this morning. The lone white angel is curious and hungry, just the way I like him.
All seems to be well with the world. For now. Or at least till I go to bed tonight, and slip into a dream.